April 6, 2010 at 2:30 AM (Rambles)

Today, on my way back from Hulu Selangor I saw two horrifying events on the road.

The first would be road kill. A pig was sprawled on the road, blood everywhere, dead! How sad. I can’t help but think how the pig must have felt. Just imagine, the pig was eating/snorting/whatever pigs do best, then all of a sudden WHAM! A vehicle comes and mauls it off its poor little feet. The pig who was minding his own business is happy one second and the next dead.

So the journey continues and this random man was standing by the side of the road waving cars to slow down. Curious as to what is going on in front, I scanned the surrounding area making sure to take note of every single detail and to spot whatever was out of place. Then I saw it, a dead man lying on the road, covered with a yellow cloth. His motorbike crushed and broken in two. Policemen were directing traffic. Poor poor man is soulless on the road. How life can be so unpredictable and depressing. I felt so sad as my life flashes in my mind. I wouldn’t wanna die so suddenly like the pig or the man. I want to die happy, proud and successful of my life. I want to do everything and anything that will make my life fulfiling. Thus I’m going to start now. To take a chance on everything that feels right. Who knows that that choice might just turn out to be the best one yet!

Anyway, the past few weeks has been about food, food, glorious food! This has seriously got to stop. Can’t keep shoving food down my throat whenever I like. There is dinner after dinner, awesome meal after the other. How can I resist? Thus, reading would be an awesome option. To just lose myself in books and not have to think about food. How nice it would be to just lie on the beach and read to my hearts content, only the sound of waves bringing music to my ears.

So, my book has finally arrived at it’s final editing process. I’m so glad but worried at the same time. I guess in life one just never stops worrying. New fears and problems tend to just creep up unnoticed. But hey, what is a dream come true without a few struggles here and there first?

Sometimes life just gets so harsh and hard, making you cringe away with fear. Creep into a hole so deep that you are certain life can never touch you there. But then you sit and think of posibilities to make it work. You think and think and then you see a light coming from the other side of the hole. You stand up and run towards it, confident it is the right thing to do. You lunge for it, giving it your all. Pushing past rocks and boulders rolling your way. You chase the light, running and panting, on the verge of giving up. When suddenly a hand grabs onto yours. You look up only to see a familiar face smiling back at you.  You want to let it go, push that hand away, but that hand only grabs yurs tighter not intending to let go. You learn to trust that hand guiding you,  letting it into your heart only to realize it is your incomplete half. The light now shines through, brightening the hole, consuming it whole with blinding light. Together you no longer chase the light. Together you are stronger and together even the worst in life can’t bring you down.

What is life when you can only share it with no one else but yourself?



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