Life just is…

May 9, 2010 at 1:45 PM (Rambles)

Good morning! It just occured to me how irresponsible I’ve become. Such a slacker indeed I am. For some reason, I can never seem to update my blog on time regarding stuff or things I want to share which happened on a certain day. When I finally have the inspiration or mood to blog about it, those things would them seem too old to share. Thus, here I am sitting, blogging, writing and thinking of how fickle-minded I am. Seriously who can ever live with fickle-minded me, who never seem to be able to hold a thought which is ever changing.

So for the past couple of days, I’ve been thinking a lot to myself. Thinking of life, my book, the future, the unknown … Well everything is always so uncertain, even the things you feel you are sure of in life may just change in a blink of an eye. The thing about life is it is so darn short but yet so bloody unpredictable. I wish I could just freeze time … put it on hold and transport myself to ten years in the future. Just long enough to take a glimpse and make sure I’m doing fine and not in the ditches somewhere unnoticed. Sometimes when I lie in bed, I would tell myself to be strong and never give up no matter what, words of courage would soon lead to tears … tears of joy or happiness I do not know. All I can feel is how tiny I am in this ginormous world which is slowly swalloing me inch by inch, puling me back unless I gather every ounce of strength I have in my body and fight back. Fight and pry myself away from darkness and strive till I see the light. I wish I could just disect my head and take out my brains. Take it out, pull out every single memory, thought, feeling and confusion. Extract till it is empty and sort out all information on the table to try and make sense of whats going on in my mind.

Was reading a book yesterday and I cam across this page which carries words that somehow made a grip on my heart, giving me goosebumps.

‘It occurs to me how close happiness and sadness are … how quickly a moment of love can be snapped away to become a moment of of hate … how love and war stand upon the very same foundations … how in my darkest moments, my most fearful times, when faced, becomes my bravest … When feeling at your weakest, you end up showing more strength, when at your lowest are suddenly lifted higher than you’ve ever been … how quickly we can be altered … Despair can be altered by one sinple smile offered by a stranger, confidence can become fear by the arrival of one uneasy pressence … A veil hangs between the opposites, a mere slip of a thing that is transparent to warn us or comfort us … You hate now but look through this veil and see the possibility of love, you are sad now but look through the other side and see happiness … It happens so quickly, in a blink of an eye.’

Okay back to book writing for me it is now!!

Lurves.. Xxx


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