Hearty Howl

March 31, 2011 at 11:43 AM (Rambles)

 

So April is apparently the month to be read or misread. It is also a time to exercise those lazily stiff fingers and start type typing away till the last flicker of candle dies out in the wee hours of the morning.

If you are so hyped up about writing and think that this may deem too good to be true, fear not my virtual literature buddies. Fear not, for it is not an April Fool’s prank.

Right now sitting her typing on the day before this challenge starts, I wonder if I can inspire myself enough to dovetail each and every single one of those 26 posts. I need a muse. I need a plan.

Well that is just my perfectionist part of me talking. Being a journalist and an aspiring novelist, it is hard not to want perfection when it comes to writing. Kid me not.

Right now though, I’m pumped up to start the challenge. Nothing else really matters but to write soulful words and be passionately read. Till the morrow, I will eagerly anticipate. Till the next post.

P.S Challenge Accepted!

Bisou Bisou

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The Next Big Author

March 19, 2011 at 2:32 AM (Rambles)

The title alone is getting me inspired, excited and nervous all at the same time. Currently am in a bundle of jittery tangled up nerves. So many many thoughts and questions zooming through my confused mind now… You’ve no idea..

So it all started when I opened an email from a friend of mine telling me about this writing thingy called ‘The Next Big Author’.

Basically it is a competition where budding writers submit their masterpiece in chapters to be reviewed by best selling authors.

Tempted as I am to submit my novel, I’m currently having doubts thanks to the lil voice in me yelling ‘It’s not good enough..’ But thing is, I really want to for once push that voice away, give it a good shove in its face and put myself out there. No reservations. Just give it a try. If it isn’t good enough it isn’t. But not trying at all will definitely be a regret I will carry along with me.

Now the other question is, what should I submit? which one? What do people find interesting? What sells? So many doubts and queries swimming through my head. Fickle minded me. Worry-rat much? Well that’s me. Over thinking things despite the fact that the first step hasn’t even been taken.

Deep down I know it is time to be brave and to take risks, which without will only push my dream further and further away. Thus I will hope with all my heart that my muse will now inspire me with everything I need to write.

Adious!! Tis time to get inspired… Really really inspired..

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Living without love is not living.. It’s simply existing

March 16, 2011 at 2:38 PM (Rambles)

So a fellow once said that living without love is not living at all. You are merely existing. In ways I guess it is true, how can you claim you lived if you haven’t experienced what its like to love, feel passionate about something or to be selfless.

Thing is, we tend to always take things for granted. We tend to lose sight of whats important once we settle into our comfort zone. There is so much we would want to achieve in life, too much that sometimes we are led astray and we forget the little things in life.

A friend of mine just asked me ‘what are hobbies’ and after giving the definition of hobbies to him, he explained that he needs to write an essay on that topic for his job interview assessment. The company wants to know if hobbies are actually beneficial to ones academic success. My answer was yes it is beneficial. His was too. And now he is stuck.

I guess he has been spending way too much time in his cocoon  of comfort chasing good grades and mapping out his future. Neglecting in the process, his prime childhood inner voice. Things you wished you can do when you grow up turned into things you have to do because you are a grown up.

Saddens me.

I’ve always had deep thoughts, always thinking way too deeply  that my mum actually warned me of going into the looney palace one day if I don’t find an outlet source for my thoughts. Well I am… in more words then none.. in my writing. The only place I feel comfortable expressing my deepest darkest thoughts, all reflecting onto those innocent pages of a word document.

Funny how a few minutes chat with my friend concluded that ‘I think too much’. Just because I concluded that he was going for a drive to clear his mind.

Sometimes being single has its perks.. freedom to explore. But other darker times, you wish you weren’t and that your soul mate who knows you better than you know yourself is there with an extended ear and feather-like shoulders. Always at the ready to listen to your thoughts without judgement or comment. Just understanding and comfort.

Bisou Bisou

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Le Cygne

October 16, 2010 at 3:40 PM (Rambles)

I’ve just finished penning down an article for an event held by the hospice center (a cancer care center for patients). It was a musical night where there were off course performances; dance, violin, piano and vocals. Glad that I’ve finally sat myself down to write it on top of all the pilled up outstanding writing that needs to be done.

So, as promised, I’ve indeed been learning the song Le Cygne which is French for The Swan. The song is just so so beautiful, magnifique, listening to it brings a sense of calm and tear to my eye. Well fingers crossed I would be able to one day play it and move hearts, touch them.

I’ve been really inspired to write lately, and I find myself jumping from one book to the other which is not good, but helps clears writers block. The other day I was visiting at my Niece’s place and to my surprise, she got a fighting fish as a pet. Reason it being that it is the easiest fish to look after as it requires no gas pump or the huge aquarium jizz. All it needs is a fish bowl, water and the occasional feeding time. Well to clear things up, you should firstly know that my niece is four years old. Reason why I’m telling you this is simply because the next line would sound totally weird. She named her pet fish Frabarbie. First reflex that hit was laughter, uncontrollable non-stop laughter. The good thing about laughing in front of a four year old is that firstly you would not offend her  because she will start laughing along and secondly if she asks why am I laughing, you could totally just make a story up and she would believe you. Thing is kids look up to adults and think that every time they laugh it is because of something ticklish and all thoughts are forgotten as they start laughing too. So when I burst out laughing from the accentuation of the name, she looks puzzling at me and a few seconds later a smile comes onto her face. “Why are you laughing?” she asks in between chuckles. “Your fish is so funny!” I replied. “Why is Frabarbie funny?” I laugh even harder and for a moment I was lost for words. Why would her fish be funny? It is not the fish that is funny but its the name. “No your fish is not funny, your fish is so cute and clever.” I said and hurriedly bombarded her with a million questions about her fish to distract her. It worked obviously because she is four and excited about her fish and all she would want to talk about is her fish.

Anyway I never would have trusted her to come up with a name like Frabarbie. It just reminds me of how creative and imaginative kids can be. I remember that I used to be like her, making up  the most ridiculous names thinking they are the smartest most intelligent words in the world. How I would write them down, make up stories which I can’t do now because of all the knowledge in me, stopping me from pushing the boundaries way over the line which says everything is possible. Ignorance sure is bliss huh? If I had that there would be a million things I would do without a care in the world. But with growing up comes responsibility and boundaries and those should be respected. Who knows maybe one day I would get back my little thoughts and put them to good use.

Better get back to my writing now, or the book will never be finished.

Xoxo, much love…

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Smize

October 13, 2010 at 7:18 PM (Rambles)

Recently I’ve been procrastinating with my blog. At times I would want to log in and write but just as I’m about to some kind of external force stops me from proceeding. I think I just needed some time to get over the stubborn bad mojo which was unfortunately stuck within me… I know it may be hard for you all to understand if you don’t know me that well but that phase is finally over and done with, now time for reinvention and inspiration.

I’ve been asking myself everyday about life… how to make it more meaningful and inspiring… how to appreciate the little things more… how to love with my heart and not my mind or eyes… so many questions in my mind but only one troubling voice speaking out to me from within ‘do something Brenda, make a change’ All I do is stare back at the voice repressing it because I’m afraid. Afraid because I’m not capable of this huge calling. Afraid that I might let myself down. Thus I repress it, hoping that one day a door might just manifest right before my very eyes, urging me to open and step through it… and that’s where I will start, where I will begin.

The past few months I’ve been watching the world through curious eyes, amazed how the everyday things around me that people take for granted never fails to leave me in awe. As I am writing this blog now, there will be at least two people around the world dying, being born, winning the lottery, having the crappiest day, falling in love and falling out of love. I chose the number two not because it is based on statistics or facts but because the number one is too lonely and three is a crowd. If I were to use bigger figures it might just seem preposterous. There are many examples out there to be used on what is happening to people around the world right this very moment but I liked what I’ve chosen. Seems to have a balance. Close your eyes and clear your mind. Tell me what you think is happening to other people around the world now. Well thats what ran through my mind when I closed mine.

My mother has been actively helping out at a hospice for cancer patients and trust me when I say this job is not for the easily grossed out, impatient and the faint-hearted. It takes courage to look the patient and their family members in the eye and tell them that everything will be alright when everyone knows otherwise. Most of these patients are poor, single parents who now, because of this disease depend on their young ones to look after them. It is sad I know, but it is amazing what people will do despite being pushed back to the end of the tunnel. Strong people I know and heard stories of will rise up to light a candle for themselves, digging and crawling their way back out of the tunnel once more. These people, who have been through the hardships of life, who never give up and who push through no matter how tough life is are the people who inspire me. They inspire me to write, to feel love, empathy, sympathy, they inspire me to do do do and not procrastinate. I found my passion for life again. My passion for writing. The fire which was dimmed within me for the past few months has slowly been shining again. Burning brighter with each inch of inspiration which touches me and every ounce of passion which envelopes me in a cocoon of warmth. You know life won’t get you where you want to go if you just sit around and wait for the door to materialize in front of you… Life is no Wizard of Oz where Dorothy opens the door and follows the yellow brick road. Reality is that everyone has the key to their dreams. The trick is to look for the right door, open it and pave your own yellow brick road.

I hope I will find at least one thing which inspires me everyday, reminding me of the reason why I’m doing what I am now. Refueling when needed. Doing things that I’ve been intending to but never gotten around to. Why wait when I can do it today even? Yes a list is going to be written up and don’t worry you will be posted and notified. =)

Today I’ve been inspired by a pianist whose five year old daughter died of cancer. Throughout their fighting moments battling with the big C, the pianist sat by her daughter’s bedside and played her beautiful tunes on her piano. Beautiful music which I’m sure helped them through the grueling process, painting her daughter’s world with music. So today on my list I’m determined, motivated and inspired to learn a new song on the piano every week. Okay, what better time then to start now?

oh and remember, when your forty plus muscles are too tired to enable you to smile, don’t worry just smile with your eyes… 1,2,3 SMIZE!!

Adious… Much love..

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Guys and Tranny’s?

June 10, 2010 at 12:46 PM (Rambles)

Top of the morning to my lovely friends…

I know it is kinda old news but can’t deny the fact that now looks top acting??? What has the skill and talent of acting come to these days??

Got this off of Perez Hilton’s blog.  Hence all the scribbles on the picture. Click on the link there and read the comments on this matter. Kinda hillarious actually most of them. But seriously, all it takes for a girl to act in a Michael Bay’s film is just looks and how well you can pose to look sexy. Oh well, guys are going to have a fit about this replacement. But then again it is not like Megan Fox can act in the first place. Transformers 3?? Not having high hopes on it now, better have a killer script and movie plot to keep fans happy.

By the way the girl replacing Megan Fox is Victoria Secret’s Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.

Told my friend about this change and conclusion that came out of the conversation was that Megan Fox was never liked in the first place and Rosie might be a new change. Anyway I can’t stop thinking of Megan as a tranny after all the rumours on the internet. Is it true though? She sure looks like one though.

A: Do you believe she is a tranny?

B: *bursts out laughing* she sure looks like one though.

A: *bursts out laughing too* yes she sure looks like one but don’t think she is.

B: Yes guys are obsessed with her.

A: Well guys are into tranny’s

*more laughter follows*

Hmmm so anyway, I’ve completed two seasons of Merlin which by the way is too short to be called a season. Only 13 episode per season? How sad =( Now moving on to Chuck. Having super high expectations of it due to the popularity and the supposed hillarity my friends told me about the series. Well only one way to find out … watch it! =)

Good news that I’m now back to complete writing mode once again, thought I’m finding it hard to find time to sit and properly write uninterupted. Wish I could just go to a coffee place or something to sit, drink coffee and get inspired. Well the beach or park will be the perfect first option, but lets face it, here the only thing that will come out of that choice if I were to follow through is that:

  1. Burnt by the sun
  2. Get all angst, grumpy and frustrated (Heat)
  3. Laptop dying on me in the first hour or maybe more
  4. No peace but more disturbance
  5. Too far
  6. No nice beaches and parks near by

Hence, where do I go? OMG look at the time??? I have somewhere I need to be and pronto…

See ya … wouldn’t wanna be ya…

Hugs!!

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Jardin Secret

June 7, 2010 at 2:43 AM (Rambles)

Joke of the day:

(Arthur and another knight are on a horse riding towards each other with wooden spear like weapons and Arthur knocks the knight off the horse with a clang. Stops and Merlin comes towards him offering his thoughts as below.)

Merlin: That has got to hurt!

Arthur: That’s the point Merlin … It is not a pillow fight!!

Okay I know some people won’t get it, but well it cracked me up so deal =) I think that is too much of Merlin for me. Consequence of How I Met Your Mother withdrawal syndrome.

Totally random … who knew that listening in on a conversation between my dad, uncle and aunt would affect me so much making me wish I didn’t hear it at all. Not a choice though it seems as I was sitting right smack in the middle of them on the sofa in front of the TV watching Man Vs Wild!! Awesome programme by the way. I think the guy is insanely wickedly gutsy. Eats just about anything in the wild and does abnormaly brave stuff. Just mindblowingly incredible. Anyway the show was going on, I was joking with my cousin about banana skins and how you don’t fall even if there were a hundred of them laid down on the floor. (Saw it on Myth Busters once and they did this experiment. No the man didn’t fall just lost balance)

As I was saying, my dad started telling them how he found this huge lizard on the road with the head chopped off. I think it’s called a monitor lizard? I don’t know what you call them, getting shivers just thinking about it. It is really huge btw, a few feet long. The first time I saw it was at the side of my house, I saw it’s tail slitthering into hiding and for a moment I thought it was a snake and I ran for it screaming. Mum went to check and said all was clear. Next thing I knew dad said it died on the road with head gone. At that moment I felt so bad. Why did it have to die though? Should have just had the chance to go back where it came from. So as I was pondering that fact of how afraid I was of it and now it is dead, my dad brought up another story. Long ago, his friend spotted that type of lizard in the drain outside his house. He dragged it out by it’s tail, pulled it out and swished it left and right, knocking it against the wall to break all it’s bones.  Obviously it worked and that poor poor lizard is hurt beyond belief and paralized. How awful to do such a thing? How terribly cruel to do that to a living organism? I mean come on, imagine someone broke all your bones and left you paralyzed? Is that fair? That poor helpless lizard, though disgusting but still what gives us the right to do inhumane stuff upon another living organism? I was broken after that story. Don’t know why but my mind raced back to the fishing trip I had and in order for the fish to die, we had to whack it’s head before we can unhook the hook off it’s mouth. Next thing I knew, the man in the show Man vs Wild was trying to eat an earth worm. Before eating the worm, lemme enlighten you on what he did with it first. He picked it up, squeezed it in a downward motion from head to tail a few times to get all it’s poo out. Goodness, can you imagine how much pain that worm would have been in? I mean imagine a giant picked you up, squeezed you like that till you poo-ed? Urghhh shudders just thinking about it.

Moving on with that disturbing bit of information … Jardin Secret … Always loved that song by Bruce Springsteen – Secret Garden! Was reading a book and came across the reference to that song and it just struck me how beautiful it is.

“Write what’s up there,” she pointed at her temple, “and what’s in there,” she pointed at her heart. “As a great man once called it ‘A Secret Garden’. We’ve all got one of those.”

Well I shall let you ponder upon that as it’s so beautiful even to be analyzed. Everyone has a secret garden full of secrets waiting to be unlocked. It is up to us who we want to unlock our secret garden to. For everyone, the other special someone will be the luckiest person on earth.

Another book I read, I came across this:

“Love is not a Science. Love is not a ‘because’ but love is a ‘no matter what’.”

Oh how noble and romantic to utter such words. You can never compare love to the experiments and conclusions of science because Love is not one answer but many different answers depending on how you tackle it. Also I believe there should be no reasons when it comes to love. Ask youself this: ‘I love him/her/you because….’ Well the day that you realise you can’t find an answer to why you love that person, hold on to him/her and never let go because he/she is the one. You will then realize you love him/her despite and no matter what. There is no reasons as to why you love someone is there now? It is not science, it is not black or white, it is sacred, colourful like a rainbow, warm on a winters day and always flowing like a river that is never ending. That’s when you find love. That unreplaceble thing that will be there no matter what!!

Hugssies to all my lovely friends out there who never fails to be there for me every step of the way!!

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Change

June 3, 2010 at 11:01 AM (Rambles)

Quote of the day:

It is only the great men who are truly obscene. If they had not dared to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great. – Havelock Ellis

Currently playing: American Town – Five For Fighting, Still standing – Hilltop Hoods, Too serious Too soon – Gareth Gates, Soul to Squeeze – Red Hot Chilli Peppers, I’ve Got You – McFly, Obviously – McFly

Good morning….. Mmmm hope the day plays out a lil better…. My wake up call was a pain and stiffness to my jaw and behind my ear. I have a strong feeling it is my wisdom tooth growing out of place. Should consult dentist soon and pray hard it isn’t the wisdom teeth and pray a lil harder that a surgery is not an option to be considered.

Two days ago, I braved myself for a change and went to do something I would never in years ever consider doing. Well it may not seem like much to people out there but anyone who knows me personally well will know how big a deal this is for me. To face my fear of needles. Basically I pumped myself up, procrastination I had a few in my head but staying strong I went ahead with it. I went for acupunture and I lived to tell the tale =)

I psyched myself into thinking of anywhere but there, I basically lied to my brains that i’m not in pain and that it doesn’t hurt. Well most of the needles that went through didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would be. The rest, hell it was torture. I guess those were the sensitive spots.  I practially cringed, gripping tight. One thing about acupuncture, when it hurts remember to speak out because the doctor will actually adjust the needles to make it not hurt at all. So well after all needles were in, he attached this wires to jolt the blood flow at my lower back, like electricity current. Gosh it did feel numbingly uncomfortable but I knew I had to bear with it if I want my back to get better.

Yesterday I found out that there is a home for young Malay girls who are pregnant. Up to date, there are 18 girls in that house, all pregnant and all disowned by their family members. When I heard that, I felt so much sadness and compassion for them that I could not stop thinking about it. I mean c’mon, to disown your own daughter through probably the toughest time of her life? Seriously? What kind of parents are you? Some girls there asked for it, had affairs or pre-marital sex, but isn’t getting pregnant punishment enough? Some of them though are rape cases. Raped and disowed by their family out of pure shame and religion. Damn it, this is bloody unaccpetable. These victims should be loved more and given full support by their family especially after a traumatizing unfortunate time. Gosh, emotions are boiling up in me now, so unsettling and forceful, praying for them to be alright. Wonder if those rape victims ever go into depression and might want to commit suicide from the hurt, sadness and pressure of it all.

Later today, I’m going out with a friend to buy stuff they might need. Like milk or other girly stuff they might need. Helping them makes me feel a little better I guess but again I still can’t settle knowing that one can just give up your own daughter. Your own flesh and blood, the one you made out of love and one whom you loved so very much. Don’t know why but all these makes me afraid for the future. Afraid of how I might end up or turn out, so many baffling questions.

Anyway after talking to the doctor, a friend and some research on google, my tummy and back pain symptoms point to this thing called Endometriosis.

The most common symptoms of Endometriosis are:

  • Pain before and during periods
  • Pain with intercourse
  • General, chronic pelvic pain throughout the month
  • Low back pain
  • Heavy and/or irregular periods
  • Painful bowel movements, especially during menstruation
  • Painful urination during menstruation
  • Fatigue
  • Infertility
  • Diarrhoea or constipation

Though I don’t have all the symptoms but most are there. It is caused by blood clotting at the uterus which may lead to serious repercussions in future, like for example when I get married and want to have kids. The blood clot will also eventually block the flow of eggs and thus will have hormonal imbalance as well. I freaked out as I was reading and well I’m keeping fingers crossed that I don’t have Endometriosis, coz if I do it means operation for me to remove the clot which is so not good. For now, I’m going to pray the acupunture and chinese medication works and it clears the blood naturally. Fingers crossed I won’t feel pain no more in a few months.

I’ve set my mind to move towards change. A change towards everything in my life. Changes that gets me pumped up with adrenaline rush, making me feel proud and good about myself. A boost of confidence  eh? That’s what I need in abundance. First fear – needles done. Well not done completely but at least now I know I can do it and just chance it next time around again because it wasn’t such a bad experience after all. Next up is still in deliberation.

Anyway I should stop talking about nonsensical stuff now… Ta!!

Warm hugs of love all round

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Someone To Watch Over Me

June 1, 2010 at 11:10 AM (Rambles)

Top of the morning to ya buds. Last night was insanely wicked. I got off work, rushed home, found out friend was in line at Baskin Robin’s and rushed out again to get me some ice cream!!! Cookies n Cream with Jamoca Almond Fudge and choco caffe latte!!! Sad though how the ice cream melts whilst you are eating it… The perks of being in a four season country sure does serve its purpose when it comes to ice cream eating while watching a movie!! Cookies and cream is the bomb… Have been missing it, not being able to find yummy enough ones so far. Baskin Robin’s is alryte. My hunt is still on to find the perfect cookies and cream… Yummm!!!

So anyway, I came across this song sung on Fame by Asher Brook. I just got hooked on, the lyrics so simple yet beautiful, meaningful and gripping. It is so sad in a way though but I love it. Just though of sharing my thoughts with you. If you heard it before and noticed, the lyrics for this is singing to a guy, but for Asher Brook off course he changed it to become singing for a girl. So, so beautiful though. Acoustic with the piano, oh how my heart melts and tear.

theres a saying old says that love is blind
still we’re often told “seek and ye shall find”
so i’m going to seek a certain lad i’ve had in mind
looking everywhere haven’t found him yet
he’s the big affair i cannot forget
only man i ever think of with regret
i’d like to add his initials to my monogram
tell me where is the shepherd for this lost lamb
theres a somebody i’m longing to see
i hope that he turns out to be
someone to watch over me
i’m a little lamb who’s lost in the wood
i know i could always be good
to one who’ll watch over me
although he may not be the man some girls think of as handsome
to my heart he carries the key
wont you tell him please to put on some speed
follow my lead oh how i need
someone to watch over me
someone to watch over me

Anyway I’ve got to run..

Hugs and kisses =)

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Tim Tam Tea!!!! Mmmm

May 31, 2010 at 5:21 PM (Rambles)

Fact of the day:

A ball of glass will bounce higher than a ball of rubber.

That fact of the day is still up for experimenting. I bet it is true but you know I won’t believe it unless I see it with my own eyes that a ball of glass will bounce higher than a ball of rubber!! That is so going on my list of things to do.

Today is the last day of the month. One month has indeed came and gone. Marking the end of the month, the whole last weekend of the month was insane for me. Take in the fact that Friday was a public holiday as well. I’ve came to agree upon my procrastination for the millionth time, that 24 hours in a day is never enough. I have so much to do, so much to catch up on that it is freaking me out. Does anyone else feel that way too? I can’t even enjoy what I’m doing because when I start to enjoy, time will move too fast and before you know it you have to stop and do something else. Thus, I’ve succumbed to the evilness of multi-tasking. Multi-tasking is supposed to be for when you work or study or something important and boring no? How can you give in to multi-tasking when doing something you love? This is obscenely evil!

Anyway, on Saturday I had an awesome time catching up with a friend I haven’t met for ages. Our catch up led to lunch and lunch led to long talks reminiscing times missed and spent in Aussie. How I wish I could blink my eye and be anywhere but here right now. Be by the beach, having brunch or breakkie, sipping coffee or reading, sunbathing and perhaps taking a dip in the cool cool sea. Oh how I miss the weather there too and not to mention the nice walks. *goosebumps* I’m coming perfect weather and perfect sandy beach. I’m coming I tell ya. Coming to get ya real soon!!!

Mmmm so moving on, today I woke up with the taste of coffee on my lips. Don’t ask me why, because I don’t know either. I didn’t have coffee the night before and I certainly don’t sleepwalk. I woke up thinking to myself damn I need coffee right now!! Then in just a split second I sorta yelled Tim Tam Tea to myself!! I know I’m weird but my eyes popped and my heartbeat accelerated. I smiled to myself like a loon thinking of the miracles of Tim Tam Tea. I reached out to grab my phone and started to text on instinct wanting to tell my friend but then just like that I came back to my senses and dropped my phone back down on the bed next to me. Why? Well my virtual friends, that is for me to know and for you never to find our!! *evil grins*

I would love to tell you what Tim Tam Tea is but the truth is talking about it will make me salivate for it and since I can’t get my hands on that right now … Rain Check?? Cool!! But I will however tell you the secret that makes this simple delicacy work, you can’t eat it alone, you need to eat it with someone else! =)

So, after the Tim Tam Tea debacle, I headed down to McD’s for breakkie with a friend. Funny story is, I lost my way driving to McD’s. Well if you know me well enough,  you would not be surprised because apparently I live in  a cave. Once again I reached to search for my phone and guess what? I left it at home. Amazing? I know. Long story short, I reached the phone not to look for directions but well that is also for me to know and never find out. In the end I got to my destination anyway and oh Coffee was all goodly satisfying =)

On my drive home, and all my weekend chats with various friends, I came to the conclusion that I’m missing out so much in life. That there is so much I want to do but I can’t remember half of them the next day. Watching How I Met Your Mother marathon did not help things much either coz at the end of every episode there is sorta a lesson to learn on life and emotions. It just got me thinking that if I don’t step out of my comfort zone and brave my fears now I never will again and will eventually live to regret it all one day. Fear is only an excuse made up by ourselves to avoid chancing something that you know might make an impact in our lives. In other words running from the reality of happiness because you’ve grown so accustomed to the dark corner you built. I have something kept sacred in my heart. My very own Tim Tam Tea. I can’t have Tim Tam Tea right now even though it is the first thing on my mind most mornings, especially when I need comfort but I will get the best brew of tea and the best make of Tim Tam =)

Now, my drive is to do all those ridiculous things on my list starting with getting over my fear for needles. This is sure going to busy my silly little head for a long period of time. The contemplation and procrastination and whatever nots. I’m going for acupuncture! =( Wow, it is hard to even write it down. How am I going to get through this?? Okay I’m gonna need a distraction buddy and working on that right away!

P.S I’m not joking about acupuncture. I’ve already made an appointment so I won’t run away again!! Not this time. This time I’m going to prove something to myself =) Wish me luck!! I’m gonna need like a truck load full of it.

Huggsiess..


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